Which characteristics of the list of adjectifs below would fit best to each of your children and brings to light his or her specific singular uniqueness and value? Choose at least three for each child and make sure they are different for each child.
Exercise 2 : Appreciate the differences in interest and taste of each child
Not one child resemble to another NOR are they interested in the same things NOR do they have the same tastes.« Your brother likes to write poems and plays the violin to express his feelings, you prefer to talk about them or sometimes to keep them to yourself…. »
Make a liste for every child with their preferences and interests, so you already have them in mind when you will interact with them:
Exercise 3: Being the treasure memory of your children:
Come up with at least one story for each child and try to find an appropriate moment to talk with tenderness and warmth about the special quality that your child already showed when he or she still were little (i.e. being empathetic, smart, sociable, tidy, enthusiastic).
Exercise 4: check if each child has a « room of it’s own »
With the examples given in the video check for each child if he or she has a space of their own. Write down your ideas how you can assure the « save space » for each child:
Little extra that you can add in their space of their own: a photo of the child with only him or her and the two parents .
Exercise 5 : Giving a job and some responsibility to each child
When each child has a for him meaningful, important contribution to do to help mommy and help the family life become plaisant, your child will feel important and will be seen as such by the other family members.
Jobs that can be perceived as valuable by children could be:
The postman/postwomen: getting every day the mail from the mailbox
The master of the toilet paper : making sure that every toilet has always enough toilet paper
The unboxing master: Unboxing the milk and water packages and put the bottles in a certain place so everyone can serve himself without having to unpack the packages
The dishwasher master: Unloading the dishwasher
The food master: Making a list of what needs to be bought
The delivery master: Delivery of the washed cloths or personal belongings to every family member
The Decoration master: For an older child (14 years old: decorate for Christmas or for an invitation, maybe even giving a certain budged for it)
The Travel Master: Planing a trip for a weekend
– The Organiser Master: i.e. put all the errants in the place they go
Exercise 6: Make sure that each child has it’s « time of his own » with one of the parents
So here is what you can do:
This is phrase that the famous French psychiatrist Françoise Dolto suggested to parents and which I used to say all the time when my children were small: ( a little phrase to give you small child a the feeling of completness)
»Yes I am your Mommy/ your Daddy FOR YOU ONLY! »
When you are occupied in the kitchen or with another child, just say to your child who want’s you to be and take care of him NOW: « Dear let me finish with this and than it’s your turn. « « I am looking forward to talking to you and taking time with you tonight when it’s bedtime. « « Let’s take some extra time a little later when mommy will be there for you, just for you. «
Take out your diary and see when you can put down some time (half a day if possible) for each of children to create their special moments and souvenirs. (you can limit this special time to once all three month, make sur to take your child out for restaurant or ice-cream after spending time together to talk about it, i.e. what he or she liked most about it)